I just went out for lunch. And so many unknowns people tagging. Like what i say, put down ur name. I dont care if its a good or bad comments. Respect your name. If you dislike me or you really hate me. Tell me right at my face, not hiding at home tagging at my blog saying that i have an affair. And who the hell told you this small lil kid that zack having affair?

You were saying i have affair with SO MANY guys. Who the hell are they? Get it right what's the meaning of this great word, AFFAIR. Ask your mom whats the meaning before you come tagging here without using ur brains. You dont have to tag my blog and makes you feel that you are somebody who is going to save this beautiful world.

Anyway, people around me are showing care. Not pity me. Make this clear too.

What are you concerning if i have an affair outside? Does this concern you? Are you the affair that you are refering to? Why are you concerning if people show care to me? Does this concern to you too? Or maybe you are lack of so much care, trying to come to my blog and attract attention. Pity you little sucker.

Its the fact, i dont have the ability to raise him. =(

I just found a lawyer who is my friend's wife. As legal aid had quite alot of negative comments, and the procedures & processing takes such a long time, so decided to turned to her. Will be fixing an appointment with her soon, since zack says he dontwant to drag anymore. Its better this way too.

I always believe a mother will sacrifice everything for the sake of her children. I dont know how much i will. Yes, i will want zayne to be here with me everyday. Mon to fri i will send him to childcare and fetch him after work. Sat and Sun i will be home taking care of him, or maybe some outings with him.

So many questions i need to ask myself.
Can my salary be able to raise him up?
Can i spend all my time just on him?
Can i pay all the lawyer fees?
Who to take care if i got classes at night?
Who to take care on weekends when i got work?

I need to think of so much things. Suddenly, i felt so lost. Felt that im standing all alone now. Please God, give me the strength & courage to overcome everything.

Sometimes i find that blogging is good. A good way to vent out anger, a good way to let out my sadness rather than just crying. Maybe it helps?

Sometimes i was wondering if god can really hear me? Can he really hear all my sorrows and the pain i've been thru.

I was watching this show, heart was aching. They all still young, but what they have gone thru, was really, really. duno what to say. It will always be unfair, always will.

No matter how hard you work, how much effort you put in. You will see nothing. Maybe 10 years down the road. Till then, you should be suffering from so many illness, fatigue, worn out.

My mom told me, submit to fate. ill-fated you must say. But, there are still so many millions people out there who is really sufffering for we called "ill-fated". Going thru all those hunger, fighting with their illness, having a proper meal is that difficult.

My life is great. I have my families, my friends, my son who is always with me.

I know, this route is gonna be tough. I knew it long ago, ever since i decided to let my son see this beautiful world, i knew. Arent easy. I must thanks god for giving me such a lovely boy. As long as i live, i will use my everything to raise him up.

.......... EMO AGAIN. Alright lah. Stop this topic. If not, my tears will flow down again.

Just the thought of being with you tomorrow,
is enough to get me through today

Been awhile since i update my blog.

Sunday went to malaysia again.
Monday took off.
Now im at work.

Thanks for all the birthday wishes.

I seriously hate 2009. I lost 2 very important things in my life, 2 "used to" be very important person in my life.

Hubby is starting school & work soon. And it means lesser time to be spend with me. =(

Make this clear, i dont like YOUR gf to carry MY son. If you want, dont take photo. Do things with limit. Allowing you to be with her doesnt mean she can carry zayne and take photos. What if one day you tell zayne to call her mummy. Come on, stand in my shoe and think. Im not afraid zayne will take her as his mom. But, like what i say. Know the limit. Thanks.

Last night was not feeling good. We were supposely gg malaysia around 11plus. But till gg 12am, we are still at cine. So hubby decided not to go. He know im not feeling so good, he fetch me to have tua huay. And everytime when we are on the road, i feel so much happier. I will keep smiling. I dont understand also. Haha.

Gonna get to do some work. Goodbye!

I really needa upload photos.

Zayne & Hubby is keeping me going on...

I've not sleep since yesterday. =( My eyes are aching.

Whole night was at sin tua, clearing & packing and helping out, all the way till today morning 9plus, hubby send me to his house bathe & send me to work. Just hope he can ride carefully, because when he is tired, and especially when he rides alone, he tends to be very reckless. =(

Christmas is over, but my birthday is coming. But, i dont feel excited at all. HAHA. No big deal actually. So forget it. Being with hubby is the most happiest thing that can ever happen to me. Got no idea why we will get together. HAHA. And i can say he's temper is really bad. But, so far, i can see he is trying his best to control, trying his best to change. I will wait for the day for ur changes. =)

My mom told me the other day, and she suspect i have a bf, cuz i say i dont have. She said "This time, ur eyes must open big big liao hor"

Impossible to open "big big". Cuz im sleeping soon. With the cooling aircon, with soft music, dim lights.. im falling asleep......

Merry Xmas to everyone. =) HOHOHO.

Last night went hubby's place bathe and went to sin tua. He brought his lappy along, so i watch the show. NICE! =) After that, went to woodlands to meet ahbao&gf headed to Malaysia. Something corked up. =( Push the bike. PUSH PUSH PUSH. Haha! Had our supper there.

Went back to sin tua aftermath. Hubby send me to his place around 3plus, bathe & sleep. He went to sin tua again.

SO TIRED, SO TIRED.

Ending work today early! Tmr off! Hurray! I will be heading over to hubby place after work and then down to sintua to find him. Shall see how.

i<3Edwin.

HAHAHAHAAHAHHAA. Cannot stop laughing. Today no school. Lucky meijuan told me. If not, i think i will be heading over to school. WAHAHA.

Hubby coming fetch me, eat dinner. Might be heading to malaysia.

CLAPS CLAPS to me !! I clean, mop, wipe, tidy the WHOLE salon all by myself !

JIAYOU BK!

Im late to work once again =(. So hubby sent me to work. Haha. Ought to be more independent, and wake up myself, cannot let hubby to fetch me to work everyday. JIAYOU! Due to waking up late, i din wash my hair. HAHA. I brought shampoo over to my work place, after customer leave, i will bathe. HAHA.

Im enjoying my fried rice that hubby bought for me across the street, YUM YUM.

Later end work @ 6pm and will bus-ed to school. After that will be gg down sin tua again.

Once again, Saturday is approaching! That means i can see ZAYNE, my little boy! hippeeee! =)

This is for my dear SIMIN,
I appreciate everything you said to me. Like what i told you last night. Its amazing that i found such a friend in this world, such a lovely friend that i made. God is still fair for me. Bad ones go, good ones come. Thanks god that i found you. I dont know how to express in words that im truly touched. Deep in my heart, you will always be my friend. =)

And now, i've got nothing to say. Just some mixture of feelings i felt inside my heart. Still not sure what's going on. But still, im happy that i have my lovely friends, my hubby, my son & my family around me.

My guy just went to sleep at 4.45pm. Told me to call him at 6pm so that he can ready and fetch me. I dont think he can wake up. haha.

I duno what im feeling now. Abit disgusted. But, weird, i dont feel angry at all. Just felt something is not right. Felt that why the world had becoming into? What do they want to prove? Thats why i said before. Dont act as if you are the best person in the world. Human are the most scariest thing in this world, not ghost, not insects. But humans. Very dangerous. You dont even know how you died. Dont even know why you died. Dont even know who killed you.

Im lazy to say so much anymore.

_|_ for you. MIND YOUR BLOODY BUSINESS. "Be happy" Laugh my heads off you idiot.

Last night was rainning damn big. So i din went home. After all those god thingy. I stayed at sin tua with love till 3 plus. Headed back to his place bathe & changed, came back to sin tua around 5plus. Sat down chit chatted with love. Ate breakfast. After that, headed back to his place again changed and he send me to work. It means, i and him din sleep last night. I slept earlier on at my work place.

I hate rainny season. =(

There's a new plan! June going to bkk with eelin & ahpui. WOO! =)

My birthday is coming. On the 28th. I dont wish to give it a blast. As long im with my loved ones. So i dont intend to celebrate.

Love is sleeping right now. <3

Tonight im gg to watch 海派甜心 at my love place !

BK "Eh!, you never off the flashlight leh"
Meijuan always thought the lecturer is transparent. HAHA.

After fetch zayne back home, love came to pick me up and went to william's duno who opening shop celebration at somewhere at amk. We ate the buffet, awhile and head off back to sin tua. Ahbao & simin came too, acc me chat and they went home. Last night was cold. Raining heavily.

Love sent me back home.

Tonight school again, and love gonna fetch me frm school down to sin tua again. Might be going malaysia again.

Im not sure how long can we be together, how long can we maintain this sweetness & happiness, how long can we love each other. As for now, im in love with him. And im very sure, one day, we will leave each other, for sure. There's no such things as forever. I myself know, i wont be forever with him. FOREVER is all bullshit. But still, i use all my heart to love him. So be it, for a few months or a few years. At least, i tried. At least, i loved.

I might be saying all this, because i've been thru. I realised i can see things more further than usual. I know one day if he leave me, i will cry. But still, i chose to wholeheartly love him, to put down my everything to love. Someone told me, even if the hottest love, there will be the coldest end. Some things i really got to admit. Im someone who will love even thou i know, we will never be forever.

Gonna get some food to eat. Imma hungry.

Labels: Do all things with love